💫Eyes Wide Shut: The Hidden Cost of Blame - Infinite Potential
- Upan Lifton
- May 3
- 4 min read
Exploring Your Infinite Potential Series
Waking up to the truth behind blame, pain, and personal power.
“Blame is like driving with your eyes closed. You’re still behind the wheel—just unaware of the damage being done.”– MoGee
Woke up this morning with a single, clear thought:
The root of all suffering is self-ignorance.
Not knowing ourselves—really knowing ourselves—as one with the source of experience… that’s what causes the deepest pain.
In our fast-paced lives, we often overlook the profound connection between our inner selves and the universe around us. This disconnection leads to a sense of emptiness, a yearning for understanding that often manifests as emotional turmoil and existential dread.
We find ourselves grappling with feelings of isolation, as if we are wandering through life without a map, unable to navigate the complexities of our emotions and relationships.
And in that unconscious state, we do what humans do: we blame.
Blame becomes a reflexive reaction, a coping mechanism that allows us to deflect responsibility for our discomfort. It provides a temporary relief from the burden of introspection, allowing us to focus our frustrations outward rather than confronting the deeper issues within ourselves.
We blame people. We target those closest to us, often lashing out at friends, family, or colleagues, projecting our dissatisfaction onto them.
We blame circumstances. We find refuge in the idea that external factors—be it our job, our environment, or societal expectations—are the root of our unhappiness.
We blame the past. We ruminate on past choices, relationships, and traumas, allowing them to dictate our present and future.
We blame life itself. We adopt a victim mentality, feeling as if life is an adversary rather than a journey filled with opportunities for growth and learning.
But here’s the hard truth: we’re often blaming the mirror for what we don’t want to see.
This metaphorical mirror reflects not just our external experiences but also the internal landscape of our psyche.
When we refuse to look deeply into this mirror, we miss the chance to understand the lessons it offers.
When we forget that we’re not just in the experience—but of it—we start to feel like victims of life instead of participants in it.
This shift in perception is crucial; it transforms our role from passive observers to active creators of our reality.
It is within this active participation that we can truly engage with our experiences, learning from them rather than merely enduring them.
That sense of separation is the birthplace of suffering.
It fosters a disconnection from our true selves and from others, leading to a cycle of pain and misunderstanding. And until we wake up to who we really are, we keep repeating patterns, expecting different results.
This cycle of blame and avoidance perpetuates our suffering, creating a barrier to genuine healing and self-discovery. Blame becomes the default. It is easier to point fingers than to look inward, to assign fault rather than to take ownership of our feelings and experiences.
But blame is not just unhelpful—it’s unconscious. It’s like driving with your eyes closed, careening through life without awareness of the road ahead.
We hurt ourselves and others, crash into the same walls again and again, and wonder why nothing changes. Each collision serves as a painful reminder of our resistance to taking responsibility for our own emotional landscapes.
But what if the pain we’re trying to avoid… is actually the gateway to freedom?
What if the discomfort we feel is not a punishment but a profound teacher, guiding us toward greater awareness and understanding?
What if the trigger is an invitation?
An invitation to explore our inner world, to confront the shadows that linger just beneath the surface.
What if the person you're blaming is your greatest teacher?
They may reflect back to us the aspects of ourselves that we refuse to acknowledge, offering invaluable lessons in empathy, patience, and self-reflection.
Responsibility isn’t blame.
It’s the quiet courage to say: “This experience is mine. What is it showing me about me?” This courageous inquiry opens the door to self-discovery, allowing us to engage with our experiences in a meaningful way.
This is not about shame.
This is about reclaiming your power, stepping into the fullness of who you are and acknowledging that you have the ability to shape your reality.
Because once you stop outsourcing your peace, you remember the truth: You were never separate. The illusion of separation fades, and you begin to see the interconnection of all life, recognizing that your experiences are part of a larger tapestry woven together by shared consciousness.
You are not a victim of life.
You are life—awakening to itself, discovering the beauty of your own existence and the role you play in the grand narrative of humanity.
And that changes everything.
This realization empowers you to embrace your journey, to learn from your experiences, and to cultivate a deeper understanding of yourself and your place in the world.
🌱 Reflect & Remember:
What are you blaming right now?
And what becomes possible if, just for today, you take full ownership of your inner state?
💬 Take Action:
If this stirred something in you—pause and sit with it. Then share it with someone who needs this reminder, too.
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