🧠💗What Polyvagal Therapy Can Teach Us About Feeling Safe Again -Heart of Healing Trauma
- Upan Lifton
- Jul 2
- 4 min read
From the Heart of Healing Trauma series:
“Safety is not the absence of threat. It is the presence of connection.” Dr. Stephen Porges
Have you ever felt anxious for “no reason”?
Or totally numb in a moment when you wanted to feel something?
If so, you’re not broken.
You’re not alone.
You’re likely experiencing a nervous system response, and Polyvagal Therapy might just offer the missing piece.
In today’s post, we’ll explore what Polyvagal Therapy is, how it works, and why it’s such a powerful healing tool - especially for those of us learning to trust again, regulate again, and feel again. And if you're ready for something more experiential, you'll find a calming 6-minute video meditation below, guided by the gentle principles of Polyvagal healing.
🌿 What Is Polyvagal Therapy?
Polyvagal Therapy is a body-based approach to healing that focuses on how our nervous system responds to safety, danger, and disconnection.
It's based on the groundbreaking Polyvagal Theory, developed by neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges.
In short, your body is always scanning for safety - even if your mind doesn’t realize it.
This “surveillance system” is called neuroception and it's controlled by the vagus nerve, which runs from your brain-stem down into your chest, lungs, heart, and gut. When things feel safe, your system lets you connect, relax, and think clearly.
But when your system senses danger (even subtly), it might shift into:
🔥 Fight or flight (anxious, tense, restless)
🧊 Freeze or shutdown (numb, disconnected, depressed)
Polyvagal Therapy helps you notice and gently shift these states - from survival back into connection.
🧭 Three Core Nervous System States
According to Polyvagal Theory, we move between three primary states:
🟢 1. Ventral Vagal – Safe & Social
You feel calm, open, connected
Your breath is steady, digestion flows, heart rate is balanced
You can relate, reflect, play, and create
🟡 2. Sympathetic – Fight or Flight
You feel anxious, overwhelmed, or on edge
Heart races, muscles tense, thoughts race
It's not “bad”—it’s your body preparing to act
🔴 3. Dorsal Vagal – Freeze or Collapse
You feel numb, foggy, detached, or exhausted
Body may feel heavy or shut down
It’s not laziness—it’s your system trying to protect you
We move between these states every day. Polyvagal work helps us become aware of those shifts and find pathways back to safety.
💛 Why It Matters
For anyone healing from trauma, anxiety, burnout, or even chronic illness, understanding the nervous system’s role in healing can be a game-changer.
Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?”
You begin to ask:“What’s my nervous system trying to protect me from?”
That shift brings self-compassion.
And self-compassion brings space for healing.
🎧 Try This: A Gentle Guided Meditation
We've created a short, simple video meditation to help you gently reconnect with your body and breath using Polyvagal principles.
▶️ Watch: “Coming Home to Safety” (6 min meditation)👇
🛠️ 3 Simple Polyvagal Exercises to Explore
You don’t need a therapist or special equipment to begin working with your nervous system. Try one of these anytime:
1. 🗣️ Humming to Tone the Vagus Nerve
Humming gently vibrates the throat and chest—stimulating the vagus nerve and helping your body register safety.
Try this:
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts
Exhale with a soft “mmm” hum for 6–8 counts
Repeat for 2–3 minutes
2. 🧍 The 3 Anchors Grounding Practice
This helps bring you into the present moment by using simple sensory cues.
Try this:
Notice one physical sensation in your body
Name one thing you can see or hear that feels neutral or comforting
Take one slow, intentional breath (inhale 4, exhale 6)
3. 👁️ Orienting to Safety
This practice is especially helpful when feeling frozen or disconnected.
Try this:
Let your eyes slowly move around the room
Name 3–5 neutral or pleasant objects (e.g., “plant,” “window,” “soft blanket”)
Let yourself fully see each one
Take a breath and gently say, “I am here. I am safe.”
📚 Want to Go Deeper?
Here are some trusted books, resources, and experts for further exploration:
Deb Dana’s Website — tools, trainings, and books
The Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges — for clinical readers
Anchored by Deb Dana — accessible, client-friendly introduction
Free YouTube talks by Stephen Porges
💬 In Closing
The heart of healing begins with this simple truth:
Your body is not the enemy.
It’s trying to protect you, even now.
Through the lens of Polyvagal understanding, we reclaim our ability to feel, connect, and trust again - starting with our breath, our presence, and the safety we learn to carry within.
May this practice bring you one breath closer to home.
Next in the series: “A Love Letter to the Wounded Self.”
A gentle closing to this arc - a reminder of your worth and resilience.
✨If this touched something in you, share it with someone walking their own healing path.
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